#harley x alfred

[mysweetobsessions]

Alfred teaching Harley how to be a B.I.T.C.H. in Harley Quinn, S04E02 B.I.T.C.H.

[marcyvamp1re-blog]

PIERROT, THE SAD CLOWN.

pairings ⸺ Yandere! Richard 'Dick' Grayson x Villain! Fem! Reader.

¿Request? Yes!

This is a Headcanon!

sinopsis ⸺ From the moment he first saw her, Dick Grayson knew he loved her. However, she could only perceive the sadness and darkness surrounding her. Despite his efforts, he couldn’t make her see the light he wanted to offer.

He firmly believed he could be her happiness.

warnings ⸺ Angst, ¿OOC Dick? Idk, Dark Themes, Dead, murdering, Disturbing Content, Unhealthy Obsession, Street Fights, Gaslight, Violence, Blood, Child Abuse, Kidnapping, Sexual Content, Noncon, Mental Illness, Corruption, Isolation, Trauma, Paranoia, Manipulation.

A/N ── English is not my first language—Spanish is— This, to be honest, is a headcanon I came up with about three minutes ago after I was left unsatisfied with the results of two headcanons I made about Jason. Since I didn't like them, I started writing a story that I had pending about Dick Grayson.

On another note, I want to thank you for the 500 followers ♡ I will keep posting more things and such.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... had never felt such a deep void until he saw you for the first time, a blurred shadow among the rubble of Blüdhaven. You, the villain who neither screamed nor laughed, only existed in a perpetual sadness, became his obsession. Pierrot, his very own Joker, trapped in a prison of melancholy, without the frenetic spark of the crazies he used to face. That sadness you emanated was his own reflection, a crack he wanted to mend with his love, a love that bordered on madness.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... from the rooftops, watched you wander the streets, always with that lost look, as if you didn't belong to this world. Every time they fought, he felt something breaking more inside you, something he could fix if only you let him get close. The nights were long, filled with endless watchings, as he silently followed you, keeping a prudent distance, until he could no longer bear it. He knew he was losing you. How was it possible that you couldn't see how much he loved you, how much he needed you? You were trapped in your own sadness, and he, in his obsession to save you.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... one day, while watching you from the shadows, found you on top of a rooftop, and thought you were going to jump. But no. You were crying, again. It was always the same. You approached the edge, and terror engulfed him. He thought you would leap, and for the first time felt something beyond duty: he felt he couldn't lose you. So, he researched everything he could about you. Your past revealed itself to him as a dull echo of emotional deprivation, a devastated childhood, and that dark philosophy about life, death, and chaos that you admired in the Joker. You had lost yourself in that labyrinth of despair, and he swore he would bring you back.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... when he finally caught you, instead of taking you to justice as he had done before, he took you to Arkham, believing you would be safe there, under his constant watch. He visited you, he watched over you. But it wasn't long before you escaped, thanks to the Joker. Time and again, you faced him, and time and again, Dick brought you back to that exhausting cycle. However, something in him broke the last time he caught you.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... when conventional methods failed, began to seek more extreme solutions. He took you to Wayne Manor the second time you escaped from Arkham. He locked you in a room from which you couldn't escape. It wasn't a cell, it was a luxury prison, but a prison nonetheless. He watched you day and night, ensuring that nothing and no one would ever hurt you again. The need to protect you had turned into something sick. He kept you safe, locked away. It wasn't a cold cell, but the walls suffocated you, and Dick's constant presence, ever-watchful, made you feel that freedom was just an illusion. Your protests became muted whispers drowned by his excessive devotion. He didn't understand why you couldn't see what he was doing for you, why you resisted. He believed that if he could control you enough, if he could protect you from yourself, you would eventually realize that you loved him.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... looked at Bruce and the others in the Wayne family with a mix of resentment and pity. They spent millions on therapies, on psychiatrists trying to "cure you," on initiatives to "reform you." How could they be so blind? He was the only one who understood what you truly needed. The Batfamily treated you like a project, while Dick saw you as the love of his life. Didn't they realize that only he could save you? But while the others saw your despair as an illness, Dick saw in your sadness a kind of beauty that no one else understood. To them, you were just a villain; to him, you were his everything.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... every time he found you on the edge of the abyss, when your empty eyes stared into nothingness, when everything around you seemed to break apart, he was there. He hugged you tightly, his hands gripping you as though they could tie you to the world. "I love you," he whispered in your ear, as if those words could heal the pain you carried inside. He felt your resistance, your hopelessness, but that only fueled his desire further. He was convinced he could tear you from the grips of your own sadness, even if he had to break you to rebuild you.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... when you escaped from Wayne Manor, he searched for you with frantic intensity. Every time he found you, he only saw one more opportunity to prove to you that he was the only one who could save you. He surrounded you with his body, protecting you from the world, but also imprisoning you. Bruce confronted him one night, warning him that his obsession was consuming him, but Dick merely replied that love was like that, devouring and total.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... faced Harley when she tried to pull you from the abyss, believing that the chaos of the Joker would be your only salvation. But Harley didn't know what Dick knew. He could give you peace, love, not the unrestrained madness she offered. When he confronted her, the fight was not just physical. Harley mocked him, telling him he could never save you, that you would always be a tragedy, like her. And when Harley's blood stained the ground, Dick knew he had crossed a line. It wasn't a heroic battle, but a desperate act. He did it for you, to protect you from those who wanted to send you back to hell.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... the days became blurred as he kept you in the Manor, away from the world that hurt you so much. He wanted you to understand that everything he did, every confinement, every possessive caress, was for your own good. Meanwhile, Alfred and Bruce tried to convince him that what he was doing was not love, but control. But for Dick, words were useless. He believed that true love required sacrifice, and if he had to sacrifice your freedom to save you, then he would do it without hesitation.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... decided that you could no longer be in the hands of others. No one else understood what you needed. He took you to his apartment, to a place where the windows were closed and the doors always locked. You were no longer free, but you were not alone either. Dick cared for you, spoke to you of a future where you would be together and happy. Every time you tried to escape, he stopped you, not with anger, but with a disturbing calm. "It's for your own good," he told you, as he held you tighter than seemed necessary. His caresses were gentle, but behind them, there was always something darker, a desperation that grew with each attempt to flee.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... the first time he possessed you was, for him, an unforgettable moment. Your body trembled, amidst tears, as he whispered how much he loved you each time his pelvis met your backside. In his mind, you loved how he took you, how he made your intimacy cry for more of him, and how he filled you with his seed at the end of the night. Each of your sobs only reinforced his conviction that you were his forever, as he enveloped you in a mix of devotion and obsession from which you didn't know how to escape.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... followed you even into the darkest corners of your mind, where others dared not tread. When the Joker attempted to drag you back into chaos, Dick confronted him one night. The confrontation was brutal, swift, and when Dick was done, the ground was stained red. You, trembling and broken, watched as Dick tore apart the Joker's henchmen with a brutality you had never witnessed in him. That night, he took you back, covered in cuts and with a twisted smile, convinced he had saved you once more.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... dreamed of the day when you would come to your senses, when you both could walk hand in hand, form a family. In his dreams, you smiled, forgetting the pain, redeemed by his love. But those dreams never became reality, and with each passing day, you moved further away from that vision.

Yandere! Dick Grayson who... made you his in the only way he knew how. Without consent, without a voice to defend you, he took you before a judge and secretly married you. The marriage was not a celebration but an act of possession. The ceremony was silent, intimate in its darkness. Dick looked at you with that mix of devotion and madness as he bound you to him forever. In his distorted mind, it was the happy ending he had always imagined. You were no longer Pierrot, the tragic villain. You were his, completely. And in that possession, he believed he had found peace. Now you were Dick Grayson's wife, trapped in a bond you never asked for, but which he believed was your only salvation. He saw it as the perfect conclusion, the ending he had always desired. Because if you couldn't love the world, at least you could love him.

A/N ─── I hope you enjoyed this. Don't forget to leave a comment and a little heart.

Don't hesitate to ask me anything if you want.

take a bath!

[jasonsbruce]

Batman: The Bisexuality Within - The Telltale Series

[lazydoodlesandfanfic]

There For Me (Harley Quinn X Batsis!Reader)

Characters: Harley Quinn X Batsis!Reader, Batfam X Batsis!Reader

Universe: DC, Batman

Warnings: Unhealthy family relationships (Parentification) Mild mention of a past abusive relationship (Harley & Joker) Mention of stalking, mention of death

Request: A bruce wayne and daughter, she is an adult. Mainly responsible for her siblings. She is sick of being the responible one. She is really good friends with harley and ivy and they take her in. She is secrectly dating harley. Batman comes too take her back but she tells him she is very happy and harley protects her girlfriend. Bruce accepts and lets them be.

Notes: Kind of strayed from the request near the end, I kind of got carried away with this lol

Ever since you were a child, you were well aware that your relationship and role within your family was different to a lot of other families. It wasn’t the norm by any sense, even for Gotham. Your mom was never in the picture, leaving you in the hospital you were born in with a note about where to find your dad, and after a test to confirm it, you were sent to live with your dad, who at the time was the opposite of responsible, and was a mess still, if the whole getting a woman pregnant who then left you without a second thought wasn’t something to go by. It was no surprise that Alfred ended up being your actual primary caregiver for your early years. That, and the whole secret life as Batman he actually had the foresight to know it was best you didn’t know about. 

You found out when you were 10, coming down in the middle of the night for something to drink after a nightmare, finding your dad badly beaten and barely conscious in the kitchen, also looking for something to drink. You stared at each other for a moment in horror, but after a moment, you swallowed, grabbing a cup, getting some cold water, and went back to bed without a word. Bruce told Alfred what happened, and Alfred explained everything after school the next day. That day changed a lot for you. You realised partly why your dad was almost always absent, that Alfred was helping him keep your city safe, and that anytime you needed help with something was basically time taken away from Alfred that he could be spending making sure your dad wasn’t bleeding out somewhere or in need of help. As soon as you got home that day, you immediately began the process of becoming as independent as possible. 

By the time your dad brought Dick home, you were entirely independent, but also very emotionally cut off from your dad and Alfred. You didn’t interact with Dick for a few days until he was up in the middle of the night due to a nightmare, and you came down as well, fixing a snack to share and then going back up to his room to keep him occupied till he was ready to go back to bed. It was after that point that Dick started to open up a bit more, especially with you. After Dick had grown into an adult and you two spent a night off drinking and catching up, he admitted to you that when he first joined the family, he wasn’t sure on what your role was in it, thinking maybe you were a recent adoptee as well and just weren’t adjusting well, and it took over a month for him to realise you were Bruce’s biological kid. 

When Jason arrived, you already had a rough idea of what to do as your role as a big sister to dysfunctional traumatised little brothers, though Jason’s anger issues did make it a bit more difficult to bond with him. However, you quickly found that if you challenged his own anger with your silent resentment and frustration with your dad for not actually doing what a dad is supposed to, you two would actually bond over your frustrations, cause a bit of havoc together to blow of some steam. 

Jason exposed you to two things. One, he showed you that you had every right to be more angry with Bruce about the fact that you had to raise yourself and now the kids he was bringing into the manor than you are. Two, it was because of you two causing a bit of mischief that you met Harley Quinn.

You had been doing some art outside to release some of your emotions in a healthy way, or as Bruce would call it, Vandalism in the form of graffiti, when you heard police sirens, and you both scattered to get away from the scene, getting separated and you ended up on the bad side of town, and was just trying to find a safe route home without having to call anyone, especially Bruce or Alfred, for help, and hoping that Jason was okay. Unfortunately, you ended up crossing paths with a group of business students, who decided to catcall, harass, and after you ignored them completely, decided to start following you. Fortunately, it was then that you took a sharp turn to try and lose them and bumped right into Harley, who was with her own posse of goons. You two stared at each other for no longer than a second, and in that second, you two had entire conversation purely through your eyes. Then she heard the men behind you, far enough away to not see who you had bumped into to realise they should run, but close enough for Harley to hear them laugh and tell the men surrounding her to grab you for them. He face contorted to anger for a moment.

“They bothering you?” She asked shortly, and you nodded, honestly scared to mutter a word. She took your arm, pulling you behind her. “Boys, time to teach these men some manners!” She ordered, and in a matter of seconds, Harley’s goons were chasing the men down the street and out of sight. You couldn’t help the small laugh that left your mouth at the sight. “You alright? Did they grab ya?” 

“No- no, they were just being creeps. Thanks.” You told her as she turned back to you, the streetlamp now lighting up your face better, and she was able to see your face clearer, and also now actually identify you, and you saw her eyes widen and realised she knew who you were. 

“Aren’t you Wayne’s daughter? What you doing out here? I’m sure daddy wouldn’t approve of you being out here.” She stated, hands on her hips, almost motherly, which was funny considering that you weren’t even a teenager anymore, now a young woman in your early twenties, only about 5-6 years younger than Harley. 

“I was supposed to be supervising my little brother while he released some stress in some street art.” You told her. She arched an eyebrow. 

“You and the younger Wayne were doing vandalism?” She clarified, and she saw the twinge of a smirk on your face before you tucked it back, and she grinned. “I like you, little trouble maker! Where’s your brother now?” 

“I don’t know, honestly. We heard sirens nearby and scattered. He’s a lot more street smart than me though- obviously.” You said, gesturing down the street to the incident Harley just prevented. 

“Why not call your dad?” She asked, and you couldn’t help the loud and quick laugh that left you, which told her a lot. “You two… not close?” 

“No… never were, honestly… I uh, I’ve always looked after myself, and these days I’m looking after my adoptive siblings. Bruce isn’t good with the whole kids having emotions things, so I’m trying to help Jason get his anger out in ways that don’t involve needing first aid kits constantly stocked up.” You explained to her, hands in your pockets, rocking back and forth, finding it hard to stand still. You had no clue why you were admitting all this to Harley, especially since she was literally an enemy of your dad, but the way she had immediately defended you, and was taking the time to listen to you made you feel safe with her. 

“That sucks, toots… you must be pretty lonely… say, if you ever find yourself back out here or just want a call or something and rant, call this number, okay? I might not answer right away, this is kind of a private cell, so don’t tell anyone, but I’ll get back to you, okay?” She said, plucking a gel pen from a pocket of her loud chequered jacket, grabbing your arm to pull your hand out your pocket and noting down a number on your palm. When she was done, she tucked it back into her pocket. “Come on, I’ll walk you to the edge of the nicer part of town, okay?” She said, wrapping her arm in yours and pulling you along with her. She did as she said, walking you to a safer part of town, reminding you to call her if needed (also if you couldn’t find Jason so she could look for him for you) and you parted ways.

She was the one you ended up calling when Jason was killed.

You didn’t talk to anyone for over a month after his death, other than the odd text to Dick to respond to him or to just make sure he was alright, but one night when things were really bad for you- your dad basically nearly killing himself every night, Alfred locked up in the cave trying to prevent him from actually dying, Dick away doing his own thing after arguing with Bruce, you were entirely alone in your mourning, completely lost in what you’re supposed to do next. You had no little brother to keep your mind busy with worrying and caring for, no one to make you feel needed. No one to make you feel wanted. You were completely alone.

You had called her as a last ditch effort, seeing no harm in at least trying, remembering she was once a psychiatrist. And sure, she was once affiliated with the Joker, but she had distanced herself from him, clearly a victim herself, and had been keeping a low profile ever since. You weren’t even sure she would pick up, probably changing her number, but she did pick up. “Hello?” 

“Harley?” You asked in a whisper. “This is… um, it’s Y/N. Wayne… you um, helped me out a while ago with some creeps, gave me this number…” You recollected to her. 

“I remember… heard about your brother… Not gonna say sorry, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard it a billion times and I’m probably a person you don’t wanna hear it from… you doing okay?” 

“Not really…” You admitted, sniffling. “I’m not doing good… I know you said to call if I needed help with something… I just… I’m alone and I don’t want to be. Is there somewhere we can just meet even if it’s just for an hour?” You asked. 

“Yeah of course!” You weren’t honestly expecting her immediate agreement. “We can have a girl’s night, me, you, and Ivy- I’ve been staying with her for a while now, I’m sure she won’t mind! Where do you want to meet?” 

You met her a few blocks away, and she walked with you to a small one bedroom apartment where Ivy was waiting already, lounged on the cramped couch. She didn’t ask questions as Harley introduced you as Bruce Wayne’s daughter, who was in need of some TLC after everything that happened with Jason, in fact the only questions she asked was “Do you want to get wasted or hold onto the pillow of emotions and tell us all about it?” 

“The pillow of emotions?” You asked, and she held up the pillow right next to her- a blanket, that even in the dim lighting you could tell was as soft as a childhood teddy, the perfect size and shape to squeeze tightly as you cried your eyes out. You pointed to it, and she handed it over, and it wasn’t long till you were on the couch next to Ivy, Harley sat on the floor, both women listening and nodding along as you hugged the pillow, sobbing and ranting about everything. From you basically being raised by Alfred, to you being more like a mother than a sister to Dick and Jason despite not even being that much older than Dick, and how because of that, you felt like a failure when Jason died, like you failed at being his protector, and how now you were all alone- Dick doing his own thing, your dad acting like Jason never even existed, and Alfred being too busy making sure your dad was actually caring for himself to notice you might even need help. 

Honestly, a part of you expected these women, who themselves had been through hell and way worse than you, to roll their eyes, point out how you had daddy’s money to buy a therapist and figure it out yourself, but they didn’t. In fact in the end, when you finally got it all off your chest, both wrapped you in their arms, promising you that they were there, that they cared, and that this apartment always had space for you if you ever wanted to get away. You found yourself there at least once a week. When Bruce brought Tim home, you fluctuated between spending almost every day there or being at home keeping an eye and trying to care for the new brother, until Tim expressed his independence and you went back to spending more time with the girls. 

5 years after Jason’s death, a lot of things changed. 

One, your friendship with Harley became more than a friendship, and you three mutually agreed that it was time for an upgrade in apartment, and you officially moved out, creating much more distance between yourself and your dad, though with Tim around and Bruce now getting more of a grip on his self-destructive behaviours, you were able to call and come visit Alfred, Tim and Dick who had moved back in on occasion, though you now mostly interacted with Dick and Tim (who had warmed up to you a lot more) outside of the manor. 

Two, Jason came back. It was shocking for everyone involved, especially since he was full to the brim of rage and fury, especially against Bruce. He worked with Scarecrow to poison the entire city, and the second you heard it was him through Dick, you tried to leave the safety of the apartment that you had promised your girlfriend you wouldn’t leave to try and find him, only for Ivy to find you quickly, seeing you in a panic and trying to run into the city without anyway to protect yourself, and in fear that you’d been affected by the fear toxin, she sedated you herself until it was all over and hopefully the toxin had left your body. When she woke you up with Harley there, your immediate question was if Jason was okay. Harley thought you were having issues with your memory due to the sedation and the toxin, but after talking with you for longer, explaining the call you had gotten from Dick, and also letting slip that your family was also the bat family, and that Jason was the Robin that had been killed, the girls gave you the rundown of what they knew. Bruce was alive. Dick and Tim were alive, and the Arkham Knight, who was apparently Jason, had disappeared, not confirmed alive or dead. Harley escorted you back to the manor to get answers on what happened, and to try and get in contact with Jason. You got confirmation that he was alive, but was still pissed off at Bruce and was not contacting the family for the time being. 

That didn’t sit right with you. So you went out into the city to one of the places you two would hang around, mess around, graffiti, where you’d complain about Bruce together, and had the best time of your lives. And you waited. And waited. You ignored all your phone calls and texts, simply dropping a text to Harley promising you’d be home soon and you were alright before turning your phone off, and waited more. When the air started to become too nippy for you as you continued to pace in the small snicket, head low, arms crossed and noticing you could see your breath now, you finally thought about leaving. Giving up for now, trying another day or another technique. It was then you felt something heavy drop on your shoulders, and someone pat you on the back. You looked up, startled at the tall man beside you, but even more so at his features that you could recognize instantly. “Jason?” You asked, getting a faint smile from him. That was all you needed, pulling the man into a tight hug, his heavy leather jacket nearly falling off your shoulders. 

You caught up with Jason. You told him how you’d moved out of the manor, how no one in the family actually knew where you lived, and you let the cat out the bag about your roommates being Ivy and Harley, who was actually your girlfriend, and how you met Harley that night where you two got separated in the city, and how she was the one you came to when he died. In classic Jason style, he was far more angry over the fact that Bruce totally left you alone to mourn him and you had to turn to another victim of Joker’s for comfort than you living with two criminals and dating one. In fact, he warmed up pretty quickly to it, knowing they at least can protect you ‘unlike Bruce’. He walked you home, promising to be in touch. You went inside, seeing Harley beside herself with worry, and after her throwing herself at you to hold you close and make sure you were alright, you told her everything, and after Jason and you got a form of communication, Harley and Ivy gave Jason the thumbs up to be allowed into the girl cave, the only real rule being to not tell Bruce or the others about the living arrangement in any way, which was easy enough. 

For a while, things were tense but working in the Wayne family. Jason was still limited to no contact with Bruce, only talking to Dick on occasion when they ran into each other, but almost all contact between them was through you, which resulted in you having more contact with Bruce, though things were still incredibly tense between you two, so often Dick and Tim became a filter for you both, which you despised. Still, the boys would always called you when they needed you, and so it was them who called you to let you know that Bruce had another child- this one biologically his. Your half brother. Damian. 

You let yourself into the manor, quickly rushing down into the cave to hear everyone bickering, Dick and your now youngest brother in the midst of a fight, though when Bruce spotted you and called your name, they stopped and looked at you. Damian stepped towards you, and Dick immediately held one of his Escrima sticks in front of him to stop him, and Tim stepped forward to be in front of you slightly, telling you that those two didn’t trust him to not hurt you. You patted Tim on the shoulder to tell him it was alright before stepping around him, and then you looked at Dick. “Put it away.” You told him. He did as told, though hesitantly. Damian remained still, though he glared at you. You showed him the palms of your hands casually. “No weapons on me, other than a taser, but that’s for creeps in the street.” You told him. 

“Who are you?” He demanded. “Another stray my father picked up off the streets?” Ah. Volatile, lashing out, not caring about hurting feelings. Reminded you of a certain someone…

“In a way, I guess. I’m your sister. Your half sister. Biologically related.” You explained, nodding your head in your father’s direction, who was stood off to the side. His eyes widened, before his eyebrows knitted together and his frown deepended. 

“I wasn’t aware father had an older child.” 

“Yeah, he had me pretty young, and I’ve mostly been out of the spotlight- I like keeping a low profile.” You explained to him, stepping forward casually. “I always joked that father dearest never wanted a girl and always wanted to only have boys- why he had Dick, Tim and Jason, so hopefully now you’re here, I don’t have to worry about raising anymore boys on his behalf.” You joked, offering a hand to him. You felt Dick and Tim tense at your action and proximity. Damian stared at your hand, then back at you, before taking your hand and you shaked it with a smile. “Welcome to the family, Damian. I’m Y/N, the eldest Wayne sibling, and your big sister. If you need anything, anything at all, you call for me, okay? I’ll be there.” 

You kept that promise to him, like you had the boys. He didn’t call you or contact you for a good few months. He only really interacted with you when either Bruce, Alfred or one of the other boys called for you and you went to the manor to negotiate, or to meet one of them on patrol to talk, and he was tagging along with them because Bruce didn’t trust him alone, but he witnessed his ‘brothers’ call you the second they had a problem, especially at home with Bruce, and every time you picked up, arranged to meet them, and came over. At first he hated how you got into fights with Bruce, especially when advocating for Jason, but when he realised that you were doing it on the boys behalf, especially when you got into a fight with Bruce for him regarding his grades and getting calls from teachers, he finally asked Dick for your phone number, and he asked to speak with you while he was on patrol. You agreed, arranging to meet him nearby. 

“You okay Damian?” You asked as soon as you saw him in the snicket. He nodded, not saying anything at first. “You haven’t ever called me before, so something big must have happened.” 

“Why do you fight for me and the others on our behalf to father?” He asked bluntly. You stared surprised for a moment, before walking closer to him. 

“I don’t have a good relationship with…father. Never have, and I’ve accepted I’ll probably never will. A long time ago, I just kept my mouth shut, let him ignore my existence despite living in the same building, and I was mostly alone. The Dick came along, and he was far more present for him than he ever was for me, but still, he wasn’t… there, there. He was still lacking, mostly emotionally, and I found myself just… filling the gap. Making up where he missed the mark. I looked after Dick when he was going through mourning of his parents, I was the one who helped Jason get some of his anger out, I was the only one who accepted Tim into the family from the get-go… I’m the one the boys call when they need help. Not Bruce… My girlfriend- don’t tell dad about her- is a psychiatrist, and she calls it parentification. It’s when a child, often the oldest, takes on a role similar to that of a parent, caring for younger siblings, and at times, the parents themselves. It complicates relationships between the younger ones and the eldest as well- like you boys turning to me rather than Bruce when you have issues. It usually damages the relationships in the family later on.” You explained to him. 

“Do you resent father for doing that?” He asked. You knew you couldn’t lie to Damian- he wasn’t naive by any sense, and you guessed he’d tell you were lying. 

“Honestly? Yes. Absolutely. I didn’t have a childhood, and I had to grow up quickly to care for the boys he chose to have.”

“Do you resent Dick, Jason and Tim? Do you resent me? You said yourself you think he only wanted boys, and while I’m biologically his like you, he’s present for me like he was Dick.” He inquired. You stepped even closer till you were both straining your necks to meet eye contact. You reached out, holding his face with your hands, warming his cheeks with your calms. 

“Never… Those few years before Dick came home… were some of the worst years of my life. I was… so alone. When you boys showed up, I wasn’t alone anymore. I had purpose, something to keep me busy. Whenever I get a text from Jason complaining about Bruce, or Dick asking me to stop by, or simply Tim asking to get him coffee… I don’t mind, because they need me, and they trust me, and they love me, and I love them. They’re my brothers. Your my youngest brother, and I love you unconditionally, okay?” You promised him, and he nodded, before stepping back, turning on his heel, and going to leave the alley, before he paused, turning and looking over his shoulder at you. 

“I won’t tell father about your girlfriend… Does anyone else know?” 

“Only Jason. I don’t trust the others to not freak out about her, especially Bruce.” You told him. He nodded, and carried on his way. He started to text you from time to time like Jason did. Short and blunt. He never told you straight out he loved you- Dick said it all the time when saying goodbye, Jason said it on occasion, usually concealing it with sentences, Tim said it usually in the middle of the compliment, but never Damian. Instead he would simply text you ‘hope you’re safe’ at the end of the beginning of a conversation. When you realised that was him saying he loved you, you realised he said it the most out of the boys. 

More time passed, things were going good in your family if you ignored Bruce, and things were going extremely well with you and Harley. You were both now looking for a new place to live away from Ivy- her idea, she was planning to move in with Selina. However, the move was postponed when signs of Joker being near your current apartment started to show up, and Harley became anxious, and with very good reason. You hurriedly moved Harley and Ivy into Selina’s apartment and you temporarily moved back into the manor. Just in time it seemed- your old apartment complex was the victim of arson, the substances used to light the fire making it burn green. It was obvious who set it. 

Jason heard first, rushing to the manor, ignoring Bruce’s calls to come and find you, holding you tightly, relieved that you were safe, before he explained what had happened, and that it was an attack by Joker. He said that, in front of not only Bruce, but all your other brothers. They all, including Bruce, freaked out.

“Joker targetted you?!” Dick freaked out.

“No he-” 

“You’re staying at a safehouse for now, alright? We’ll fit it up and make it homely.” Tim decided.

“No, that’s not needed-”

“Y/N, you’re in danger, you can’t leave our sight.” Bruce ordered. 

“He wasn’t targeting me!” You snapped, making them all stop. “He wasn’t targeting me. He was targeting my roommate… my girlfriend.” 

“Your girlfriend?” Bruce asked. 

“Why?” Damian asked. You glanced at Jason anxiously, the only person who knew all the details. He instantly wrapped an arm around your shoulder, ready to put himself between you and everyone else if they tried anything, and get you out of there in a timely fashion if necessary. 

“My girlfriend is Harley. Quinn. We’ve been dating for a few years.” You admitted. Everyone stood stiff for a moment. 

“What?!” Bruce finally snapped, moving forward. Jason immediately held his arm out, pulling you behind him. 

“You stay the fuck away from my sister, Bruce.” He glared. 

“You knew?” Tim asked at Jason. 

“I did too.” Damian spoke up, trying to show solidarity with you and Jason, jumping to be beside you as well. “I didn’t know it was Harley, but from what she’s told me, she treats her well and loves Y/N.” Damian defended. 

“I’ve met her. Harley loves Y/N. She was there for Y/N when I died, unlike you. She looks after Y/N.” Jason defended. Bruce stared at you. 

“Where’s Harley?” 

“I’m not telling you. Her life's in danger, she’s in hiding… we’re going to meet up soon and… we’re leaving Gotham. Temporarily. Just until Joker forgets she exists, then we’re getting a new apartment, maybe somewhere closer to Jason.” You explained. 

“You can’t leave Gotham with her!” Bruce snapped. 

“Why not?” Tim asked. Bruce’s head snapped around to him. “If Joker gets an inkling that Harley has a girlfriend, especially if it’s Y/N Wayne, he’ll go after her. It’s better safe than sorry.” 

“Anything we can do from here? We can get you two a safehouse in another city till things calm down.” Dick offered. You smiled at him and nodded, and he smiled sadly. “We should cause a scene to keep him occupied so he doesn’t have time to realise Harley’s gone off the grid. One of us should also escort you both just in case. 

“I’ll do that.” Jason decided. “Atleast you know if worst comes to worse and Joker tries to stop you leaving, I’ll fucking kill him.” 

“Do none of you care about what I think?” Bruce asked. 

“No. We don’t. This has nothing to do with you. This is to do about the safety of Y/N and her girlfriend from her girlfriend’s abusive ex. This is about what is best for them, and what we can do to make things easier for them. You’ve never cared about her. You’ve never put her first and done what’s best for her. Leave us to deal with this, and stay out of it.” Jason snapped at him. Bruce looked around, seeing to see if anyone- even you- would tell Jason off. No one did. Without another word, Jason pushed you to go with Damian and Tim to go pack some things while he went to get a car from the garage for you and Harley and your things, and Dick got his phone out to start making calls for somewhere safe for you to stay. Bruce stared at Dick, the only one left in the room. He saw that Bruce was waiting for him to talk to him, say anything to him. 

“Y/N has always been there for us, no matter what. This is the only time she’s ever said she’s needed our help. We’re taking it.” He told him simply, before putting his phone to his ear and leaving the room, leaving Bruce alone, unsure on what to do or what to say. 

Hope you like it! If you have any questions, please send them in!

*Not my gif

TAGS:  @freyathehuntress  @courtneychicken​  @graysonmalfoy​ @bellero​ @originalpottervengerlock @supernatural-pan​ @esoltis280​ @lady-of-lies​ @lenaswritingandstuff @macbetheliza @mandywholock1980​ @cdwmtjb8​ @caswinchester2000 @determinedpines​ @huntheimpossible @automaticbakeryfreakshoe 

[vodrae]

Selina, cuddling with Harley and Ivy on the couch.

Selina: You're gay.

Bruce: What ?

Selina: Peer review.

Bruce: I only date women !

Ivy: Me too, how's that suppose to be a defense ?

Harley: All my peers are queer. Amen.

Selina: Why do you think we accepted you ?

Bruce: Because of my money ? And that's my house ?

Ivy: He's cute and smart. Thought it was impossible.

Harley: You're a decent man and you love women. It doesn't exist in this city. You're a sapphic just like your pals sugar. Doctor's words.

Bruce: Wait, Alfred is not gay, I met his ex wife !

Selina: Foreigner, being above our comprehension.

[bet-on-me-13]

Jason's Birthday Gift

Batman isn't completely against killing. He just feels like he can't be the one to make that decision, because "who gave him the right to be Judge, Jury, and Executioner?"

But, Jason's birthday is coming up and he thinks he has the perfect Idea for him.

Jason was resurrected. Apparently murdered Ghosts have a supernatural need to be avenged. He put 2 and 2 together.

He summons the Ghost King and asks if it's legal to Kill the Joker.

Cut to Jason'a birthday and everybody is having a blast. They get to opening the presents and finally get to Bruce's gift.

Jason opens it and finds a Signed Warrant for the Jokers Death, from the king of the dead Phantom.

He looks up at Bruce disbelieving, but he just nods back and continues drinking his coffee.

Jason: Did you just get me permission to Kill the Joker from fucking GOD!?

Bruce: Go break his Kneecaps kids

Alfred: I'll pack a lunch!

[batsythoughts]

we want more giggles

Because you all have asked so nicely, here the continued adventures of Giggles and the rest of the Wayne family. Meeting Mama Harley and Auntie Ivy addition

It had been a couple weeks since little Giggles had come to live in Wayne Manor

Everyone enjoyed the new surge of life that came with having a four year old around. They even set up a schedule for who would stay behind at night to help Alfred with potential issues that would sudden appear

Bruce had set up a couple of appointments to make sure Giggles was on the right level of education for a child of that age

During the day, Jason would help with teaching letters since that was an easier thing for a toddler to process

For one hour each day, he would say one letter at a time and Giggles would have to write it on a whiteboard

It was near the end of one of those sessions when a knock sounded from the front door

Alfred went to get it, expecting one of the boys to have a delivery of some kind showing up

On the porch stood a very excited Harley Quinn and slightly calmer Poison Ivy

Harley clutches a brand new blanket as she eagerly asks if her baby was really alive and now living with the Wayne family

Alfred had a soft smile on his face as he encouraged both the women in. Telling them that Giggles had been settling in quite well with the whole family

Harley expresses her gratitude as she explains that she hadn't know that her child was alive for all this time because the Joker said they died immediately after the birth. She would never have allowed that kind of treatment to her 'sweetums' otherwise

Alfred listens intently as he lets her vent all the emotions she was feeling. Leading the women to the living room as Jason gave Giggles a pat on the head

Harley let out a sudden noise of excitement as she rushed over and scooped the toddler into her arms with a big smile. Placing kisses all over their face while rambling about how excited she was to see her baby

Jason watched as Harley put Giggles back down before unfolding the blanket on the couch for the kid to get a look at it

Harley encourages Giggles to feel it to make sure she picked one that was soft enough for her baby to enjoy using

Giggles looked confused at what Harley was saying as they wiped their cheeks where she had kissed them

It took a few more words of encouragement, but Giggles cautiously does feel the blanket before mumbling that it felt okay before going over to Jason

Harley's smile falls as she watched her baby go and seek comfort from someone else while she was right there

Ivy came over and sat beside Harley on the floor and asking if Giggles remember her and if they knew who Harley was to them

They got a small nod in response as Jason's neck became the hiding spot of Giggles' face

He asked what was the matter was since they knew Harley was their mom and he thought it would probably be a happier occasion to the little one

Tiny hands grabbed his shirt as he hears a small whisper that breaks his hear:

"He said mama didn't want me."

Jason gently shifts Giggles onto his laptop be able to look at Harley while stilll having the option to look away

He quickly assured Giggles that the Joker lied about Harley not wanting her child and that she was here because she wanted to be apart of their life now

Harley's shoulders slumped at what Jason said, quickly explaining that she had been told Giggles was sick and died after having given birth and she thought it was true

Ivy joined in by saying Harley was so happy hearing the news of Giggles being alive, she had already been making plans to potentially spend time together

It goes silent for a moment as Giggles continues to hold onto Jason with a quiet whine

Harley looks around the room for a second before noticing the Batman toy. She grinned as she grabbed it while saying that she was kinda sorta friends with Batman

Giggles perks up slightly while looking over at Harley with skeptical eyes at the news

Ivy noticing a shift in demeanor, eagerly adds that the two of them had many interactions with Batman over the years

Harley handed the toy over while saying that the Bat would be really honored to know such a unique child looked up to him

Giggles had a miniature grin while taking the toy back with a quiet 'no way'

Jason quickly joins in by saying he had seen all of them on the news together talking to one another

The child laughed while looking between all of them and saying they were just making it up

The three of them shared a smile while saying that they knew what they knew

Harley leaned a little closer while asking if there was anything that Giggles liked to do for fun

Soon they were all at the dining table with crayons and different pieces of paper as they each colored

Alfred came in with drinks for them all before asking what everyone would want for lunch

Harley quickly stands up while exclaiming that she could make everyone some mac and cheese (she might not have much experience with kids or cooking, but everyone loves mac and cheese)

Alfred tries to assure Harley that he can take care of making the food, but she was adamant with making it herself

After getting everything ready, Harley began making lunch with Alfred close by, just in case

In the dining room, Ivy smiles over at the child as they put the finishing touches on a butterfly drawing

She asked what Giggles thought of Harley so far. Giggles said that she was definitely nicer than the Joker had said

Ivy smiled while discreetly typing a quick message Joker, threatening to feed him to her plants for everything he said and did to this little ray of sunshine

After some time had passed, Harley and Alfred had come in with plates for everyone to eat (even one for Alfred, Harley insisted)

Giggles helped Jason move all the papers and crayons away before everyone started to eat

Giggles gave Harley a happy 'thank you' after eating a couple of spoonfuls

Harley felt proud of herself for making a good meal for her little one as she gently takes Ivy's hand

It goes quiet for a minute before Jason quietly suggests that maybe they could stay for dinner tonight

Harley begins to say she doesn't want to intrude and only wanted to check up on Giggles for the day

Alfred is the one to say that he would not allow the ladies to leave before that got to know how Giggles got along with the rest of the family

Ivy says that they would love to stay as they did have something they wanted to talk to Bruce about anyways

Alfred says that they would all appreciate having them for dinner and he would make sure to have enough food for everyone

Giggles gives a happy clap at the news before asking what they would want to do

Once everyone was finished with lunch, they went back to the living room

Jason picked up the book he was currently reading as he just sat close by while give Harley and Ivy the ability to bond with Giggles

Harley, trying to get a small of understanding of what all her child liked, asked if they wanted to watch a movie or if there was a favorite show that was on

Jason quickly said that Scooby-Doo, Courage the Cowardly Dog, and Bluey were a couple of favorites (there's just something about talking dogs)

Ivy quickly switched on Courage because it was the first one that she found when searching

The show plays on as Giggles sat beside Harley, who was gently running her fingers through her child's hair

Ivy was on the other side of Giggles as her arm rested on the back of the couch as she smiled at the two of them

The show continues to play on as Giggles starts to lean into Harley's side with a small yawn

Ivy lowers the volume on the TV a little as Harley began to move to lay down with Giggles in her arms

Harley gets the blanket that she brought and places it over the both of them

It doesn't take long for Giggles to fall asleep for a nap as the show continues to play in the background

Jason begins to flip the page of his book as he says they can change the show if they wanted. He did it all the time with some crime show that you also seemed interested in when it was on

While Courage was not the worse show for a kid to like, they didn't have to be told twice before changing to a different show

Harley placed a soft kiss to Giggles head as she continued laying down on the cushions

Ivy ran her fingers through Harley's hair with a smile at the whole situation they were in

It didn't take long for Tim and Damian to come home from school as they took off their shoes

Tim went to get a snack from the kitchen before going to the living room to work on a couple of assignments that he had

He started working on his papers before lifting his head in confusion as he looked over at the couch. He barely even registered the two villains as he walked over to the coffee table

Damian walked in as he looked at all of them. Shaking his head as he went to go check on his animals while muttering about Alfred getting his own collection

Tim, still mildly confused, went back to doing his homework. If Jason wasn't concerned about them being here, it probably wasn't a big deal

Giggles begins to slowly stir in Harley's arms as they slowly wake up. When their eyes open, a huff escapes them while still laying down

Harley reluctantly sits up and stretched her back. When she was done, she rests her head on Ivy's shoulder while brushing back Giggles hair

The child soon sat up and looked around the room. After seeing Tim sitting on the ground, quickly looking around again

"Where's Dami?"

"He's out in the barn, kiddo. He'll come back in soon."

Giggles gave a small whine at that, but didn't push the subject. None of the family allowed them out in the barn, saying it would be best when Giggles was older

Ivy was about to change the channel, but stopped when she noticed Giggles paying extreme attention to the screen. Even more than when the cartoon was on earlier

The show continues to play on with no interruptions when Damian comes walking back in from the barn

He sits down on the far end of the couch as he looks over at the group with a critical eye. Wondering if there was potentially a trap that would come with them being there

(He barely admits caring, but that kid doesn't need to go through anything else they didn't deserve)

When a commercial break had come along, Giggles looked over at Damian with a grin

Going over to his side of the couch, the toddler just stared at him while waiting for something

Damian didn't even look as he reachs a hand out and rests it on Giggles' forehead. Shaking his hand around gently before pushing the toddler backwards on the cushions with a smirk

Harley almost gets upset until the sound of laughter fills the room as Giggles gets back up to face Damian again

He softly says no as his focused on the screen. But the drawn out 'please' caused him to repeat the actions one more time before saying it was the last time

Tim snorts at that as he puts away the homework he had. Carefully putting them away in his bag before standing up with a quiet groan as he begins walking towards the kitchen

"Alfred's currently in there. He won't let you walk out with any form of caffeine this late in the day."

Tim stops short as Jason closes his book. The smirk on his face irritating Tim further as he sits on the couch near Ivy

Giggles quickly got off and went to the kitchen. Coming back with an armful of juice boxes

Going over to Tim first, Giggles hands out the juice boxes to everyone before settling in beside Harley again

Tim grins over at Jason with a raised brow before starting to drink from his box

Everyone watched the show in peaceful some time until the front door opened. Both Dick and Bruce arriving back to the manor at the same time that day

Harley and Ivy perk up at the sound of the men coming into the manor. The two sharing a glance before looking back at Giggles with concern

With the routine that the family formed after Giggles came to them, Dick immediately went to the living room to do his self appointed oldest brother duties (surprise uppies, cuddle times, and sibling gossip)

Dick stops in his tracks for a moment when he sees the two women sitting on the couch. They look back and make eye contact with him

It lasts a few seconds before he gives them a smile before reaching over the couch and lifting Giggles up

The child laughs as Dick lightly spins around before moving to sit down himself

Bruce comes walking in a little after Dick with a deep breath. Not completely surprised by the fact Harley was there. He was most shocked it took her this long to finally come over

When she noticed Bruce come into the area, Harley held Ivy's hand as the two stood up. Both of them going over to him as they expressed their gratitude for him taking in the little one

Ivy quietly said that their was something that they did want to talk about in private if he was willing to hear them out

He gave a quick nod as he guided the two to his study so all the children wouldn't overhear whatever was going to be said

When he closed the door, he fully expected to have to argue that he wasn't going to just hand Giggles over to Harley entirely

She might be the mother, but he couldn't fully deny that the situation could end up bad with everyone no matter how hard anyone tired

"Could we have Giggles stay over a couple of weekends every month?"

The confusion was clear on his face as Harley's words sink in. He blinks at the women for a moment before asking them to explain

Harley calmly says that while she does love the fact her child was alive, she knew she might not be able to provide the best life for said child

Instead, she wanted to be apart of their life and also help out with giving the family a few breaks during the month while getting to spend time with Giggles

Bruce thought about it for a moment, realizing that it wasn't that extreme of a request given the circumstances

He agreed that he was alright with it, but it would ultimately be up to Giggles to decide if they wanted to go over

Harley and Ivy quickly agree that it was okay with them to do it that way. And even if Giggles didn't want to stay the night, they would be willing to do day visits if that was the limit

They all left the study before going back to the living room

Giggles wiggled out of Dick's hold when Bruce came walking into the room again. Going up to him and giving him a hug while looking up at him with a smile

Bruce gently returns the hug as Harley kneel to the ground while asking if Giggles would want to maybe spend a couple of days every now and then with her and Ivy

Giggles thinks for a moment before giving a small nod and saying that it sounds like fun

Harley let out a laugh in relief while tightly holding Ivy's hand

The boys all stare for a moment as they watch the scene in front of them

Alfred came walking in while saying that dinner was about to be ready so everyone could go and get themselves settled at the table

The whole group goes into the dining room and take a moment to figure out the seating arrangement with the two extras joining them

Once everyone was settled, Alfred came in and set down plates in front of everyone

Conversation was light as the meal progressed. Mostly consisting of how the day went and of any upcoming events that would be occuring at school

The meal seemed to pass by too soon as Harley and Ivy said that they would need to leave soon

Giggles gave a small pout, but gave a small nod in understanding

Bruce began to see them off while exchanging information so they could all get in contact for custody swaps

As Harley and Ivy were about to leave, Giggles came running up with the butterfly drawing in hand

Giving it to Harley with a smile while saying she could keep it

Harley gratefully took it while leaning down to place one last kiss to Giggles head before saying a last goodbye for the night

"Bye bye, Aunt Ivy! Bye bye, mama!"

Harley has to turn away as she holds back tear because she was just called 'mama' for the first time. Ivy holds her close as they begin to go back to their apartment

Bruce closes the door while picking Giggles up, smiling at the child while walking back into the manor

"Mama's nice. She did want me."

Bruce has to keep his expression neutral as the child continues rambling. Dear God, he was going to beat that clown within an inch of his life

[neiveel3llson]

Alfred: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I believe.

Dick: I lost Damian.

Y/N: How did you LOSE Damian?!

Dick: To be fair, he is very small.

Bruce: Did you have to stab them?

Jason: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Bruce: What did they say?

Jason: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Bruce: That’s fair.

Y/N: *screaming while holding something large.*

Dick: *Chasing Y/N, screaming at them to not throw the large object.*

Jason: *Crouching at the car window, begging Damian not to call Bruce.*

Dispatcher: 911, what's your emergancy?

Tim: We locked our baby brother in the car and people are judging us!

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*

Jason: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.

Tim: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.

Y/N: if you want information it is

Dick: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

Jason: What are you talking about Dick? You love it here!

Dick: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.

Damian: You need to be more careful!

Bruce, who was dragged into Damian's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-

Damian: Wow. I keep stepping on a lot of crunchy twigs.

Y/N: Those are bones, Damian.

Damian: *looks straight up* Not if I never look down.

Bruce: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way.

Alfred: Sir, did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way?

Damian: But what about Y/N?

Jason: Don't worry about them.

Jason: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

Tim: Your problem is that you’ve got no common sense.

Y/N: I’ve got plenty of common sense!

Y/N: I just choose to ignore it.

*Playing house with Damian and Jon.*

Jason, at Jon: You're my significant other.

Jon: Yeah I am!

Jason, at Dick: You're my child.

Dick: *Rolls eyes* Yes boss.

Jason, at Tim: You're my bitch.

Tim: Yeah I am- wait, what?

Jason, at Y/N: My bestie.

Y/N: Naturally.

Jason, Damian: HA, GAY!

Damian: Fuck you.

Alfred: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Bruce: You mean you stabbed them?

Alfred: They ran into my knife, sir.

Bruce: Breaking News, Dick has disappointed us.

Tim: Why do you look like that?

Damian, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Tim: Like you’re dead.

Damian: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.

Alfred: Young master Damian accidentally called Y/N “babe” in front of everyone today.

Damian: *sobs into the floor*

Alfred: *Turns on the kitchen light*

Y/N: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*

Alfred: It’s four in the morning, young master.

Y/N: Turn the light back off.

Bruce: This is a judgement free zone.

*Pulls out a knife the size of their forearm*

Bruce: And I mean it.

Tim: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Y/N: Listen, in the wild wild west there is always a woman in the saloon and nobody messes with her even though they all have guns.

Dick: That's because she's a prostitute.

Bruce: Tim, why are you crying?

Tim: This book is so sad!!

Bruce, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Dick: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?

Y/N: Why? It was important.

Dick: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".

Damian, shrugging: The people need to know.

Y/N, to Jason: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Jason: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Y/N: You just told me you're pregnant.

Damian: Congratulations Jason, you're glowing!

Y/N: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.

*When Y/N and Jason were young and new.*

Bruce: Where the devil is Alfred?

Y/N: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe he melted?

Tim: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?

Jason: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.

Y/N: All good bro, any time.

Jason: Fuck you.

Damian, over radio: Testing. Testing. Bruce, can you hear me?

Bruce, standing next to Damian: I’m standing right here.

Damian: You’re coming through good and loud.

Bruce: ‘Cause I’m standing right here.

Alfred: Perhaps, the true treasure was friendship all along. Although, I hope not, because I cannot spend friendship on new suits.

Damian: You wanna fight?! You got one!

Y/N: Okay! *raises fists*

*Bruce runs in, scoops Y/N up in their arms, and runs away carrying them because he just didnt want them to fight. Yet.*

Damian:

Damian: What?

Y/N: Any questions?

Dick: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Y/N: Uh, a plan, duh...

Damian: Dick, chill, I know it’s weird, but Y/N has a point.

Dick:

Dick: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

*Alternatively*

Joker: Any questions?

Y/N: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Joker: Uh, a plan, duh...

Harley: Y/N, chill, I know it’s weird, but Joker has a point.

Y/N:

Y/N: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

Bruce, answering the phone: Hello?

Damian: It’s Damian.

Bruce: What did they do this time?

Damian: No, it’s me, Damian. It’s actually me.

Bruce: What did you do this time?

Dick: Everyone thinks you suck.

Joker: I think you have the wrong number…

Dick: Damian?

Joker: Nope. Joker.

Dick: Well, you probably suck too…

Y/N: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.

Tim: And?

Y/N: And you are.

[batmanlovesnirvana]

You know what villain I’d like to see in The Batman Trilogy ? PROFESSOR PYG. This man would fit so well in Reeves Universe. Lazlo Valentin, the pig-mask wearing, opera-singing lunatic surgeon, is the serial killer behind The Perfect Crime sidequest in the Arkham games.

This man makes Joker look sane himself.

Hell even an hallucination of the Joker considered Pyg to be too insane, you've got to be a special kind of nuts to even make someone like the Joker of all people think that. Joker will normally make a comment about the villains Batman puts away in the GCPD, the comments he makes for Pyg pretty much show that, if Joker were alive, even he would be put off by how deranged Pyg is, and this is coming from the hallucination of someone considered absolutely insane by most of Gotham City.

He honestly terrifies me. One of those Batman villains I could see some version of actually existing and its just intensely scary to me. Also the way he talks in Arkham is downright disturbing.

Professor Pyg in concept is an intriguing foil to Batman, the problem is the comics treat the character with bare minimum characterisation. Even, Hush by comparison feels nuanced and layered.

Personally prefer Gotham’s portrayal of the character. That version creeped me out, rather than the hyperbolic or shock horror version in the comics.

In conclusion, I like him a lot. I think a lot of people write him off as being a generic psycho killer or “creepy for the sake of being creepy” but I think he’s more interesting than that. It makes me wonder if those people actually even know anything about him. He does need some more fleshing out though which will hopefully come with time as he’s a relatively new addition to the rogues gallery.

[nelkcats]

Harley's bad bad day

When his parents excitedly talked about a family trip to Gotham, Danny was skeptical. Why would he want to vacation in New Jersey?

He ended up accepting. But he couldn't leave his duties as King unattended so he made some arrangements with Wulf and the other ghosts. They promised to behave in the best possible way. Danny didn't believe them but had no choice.

Without him realizing it, as soon as he set foot in Gotham the city got filled with ambient ectoplasm. Achieving that the shadows of the spirits could form correctly as ghosts in the city.

Many of the ghosts decided to seek an entrance to the Realms, maybe visit the King who was visiting their city. Others were furious at their deaths and wanted revenge. The Joker was number one on the list.

Harley was the second closest. Although she had parted ways with the Joker a long time ago, the ghosts didn't care that she had changed. She killed them, all her change wouldn't fix that.

The dead do not forget

When Harley woke up that day she didn't expect to find a knife stuck to the side of her face. She got up upset but the knife seemed to have fallen from the ceiling. She frowned, not remembering how it got there.

The more time passed, the more she suspected that something was up. Around midday she was convinced that someone was trying to kill her. So many accidents happened to her that it was ridiculous. The girl couldn't help but become paranoid and seek refuge with Bruce.

Batman wasn't one to accept or deny the existence of ghosts but he was sure Alfred wasn't talking to himself. When Harley told him what was going on with her he frowned.

Why was there paranormal activity in Gotham? And why was it after Harley? He grunted at the thought that he should call Constantine.

[rite-reblogs]

Dc/Dp Uncle Danny Au

So if Clockwork adopts Danny and Clockwork is Kronos, does that mean Danny is Zeus’s baby brother? If so, then Danny would be Wonder Woman’s uncle.

Danny joins the League on some mission and a sleazy villain starts saying things about Diana and before she can punt the villain into the sun, Danny just goes full eldritch,

“D̶͙̈́͒͘o̸̝͙̙͛̋͘͜͝n̵̦̔̐͂’̸̼͊̃͋̆̔͗͂t̷̛͕̪̠̔̇̅̋̇ ̴̹͎͖̯̠͐̋̑͆̋̚ẗ̵̠̟̞̱͉͌͋̃̊́̾͝ͅa̶̡̔͛l̷̜̋́̃ḳ̴̻̰͉̝͖̜̱̈́̒̓́̐̂̏̓͠ ̵͔̿͗́́̈́͂͠a̷̫͙͚̿͒b̶͔̣̳̘̾̾̔̌̈̾ǫ̴̘̮̀̆̀̋̆̓̅́͝ủ̷̝͖͚͇͓̰̱͌̀͂̈́̉̽̏͆͜ţ̸̧̩̯̪̦̣͋͋͗͝ ̶͔́ḿ̷̲̎̌̈͠ÿ̶̨͇͓̲̘̻̰́̑̀͊́͝ ̷̡̘̠̞̖͚̀̐̿͛n̴̲̄i̷̢̨̡͎̪͚͓̟͑̆̕e̸̱̻̲͈̳̥̓̐̃̕̕c̵̡̯̹̹̬͈̲̤̔͒̔̃̿̍̈̕ë̷͙͙̝̻̩̝́̎̈́̏̅̏̔̆͜͝ ̴͓͖̻͎͍̳̝̙̥̀̋͝͝t̸̢̨̖̰̰̟͚̻̀̄̀̏̇̍̕ͅh̸̢̦͈͍͓̱͈͔͕̉͑͋̓̈́͘͘̚a̶̩̗͌̆͌̔̔̊̉́́t̵̡̩̰̗̭̋ ̷̠̱͉̝̰̪̓̆͋͌͆̑̆̚ẇ̸̼͖̟̰̗̻̜͔̿̓̌͘͝ą̸̱͍̪̲̜͋̓̋̓y̸͎͖̦̩̳̓̋̀̔̾̃,̸̹̜̣̮̗̺̖̈́́ͅ ̶̯̼̈̍̇̐̽͛̕y̸̤͉̕o̷̠̼̖͚̯͖͙̔̈́̄̐͜ǔ̸͔̦͌̎̈́͜ ̶̩̝̼̘̳̣̗̤̫͆̑͐̓p̷̰̳̣̒̿̊̈̅̚͝ę̶̡͇̼̭͖͓̜̈͗͜͝r̷͇̳̤͎̝̥͕͍͐̓̅̓̈͠v̷͇̝͎̈́ë̸̖̲̖̲̈́̃̄̄͆r̷̡̠̣̙͠t̴͙̹̿!”

and sends the villain to the shadow realm.

Diana: Did you say niece?

Danny: Kronos adopted me. Oh, Pandora also says hi!

Diana: 

Rest of the League: 

Bruce: *Sadly tears up half filled out adoption papers*

Or maybe Clockwork and Bruce co-parent him and Diana has fun calling Bruce grandpa Idk 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Zalgo text says, “Don’t talk about my niece that way you pervert.”

[to-the-stars8]

Vigilant Coffee

Batfamily x Reader Chapters AO3

17- Color Changing Cups

It was the Brooklyn accent that tipped you off and, before you even had time to turn around, there she was on your side of the counter. Harley Quinn wasn’t the worst customer you’ve ever had, not by a long shot, but she was one of the most unpredictable. One week, she was all roses and friendliness; the next, she was waving a gun around as she asked for the money in the cash register. You doubted it was pure crazy, but rather some internal struggle of her’s. She was constantly at battle with herself on who she wanted to be and who the Joke would want her to be. Either way, it didn’t matter what you thought at the end of the day, because she was the psychologist and you were just the barista. 

She was going through the stack of reusable coffee cups, throwing them all around as she attempted to find the ‘perfect’ one. Her words, not yours. You tried to reign in your frustration because, as much as she claimed to like you, you weren’t prepared to get on her bad side with one bad joke. 

“How ya doin’, babes?” She asked. “Still dealin’ with those bats?”

“Bats? Don’t even know ‘em,” You joked. It was something she liked about you, your somewhat cheesy sense of humor. 

She snorted, before saying, “Aha!” and holding up a pink plastic cup. Harely spun on her heel toward you and held it out. It was a pink one that changed colors under different temperatures, and on it was the shop's logo. With a sigh, you took the cup from her and started to make her drink, which was a strawberry cream frappe. You hated making those, and you felt she knew it, too. 

“Got any plans for tonight?” She asked, hopping up onto the counter. You turned to her, gesturing all around, before going back to what you were doing. “Chatty tonight, aren’t we?”

You rolled your eyes, not amused by her sarcasm. When you finished her drink she giggled excitedly as she oohed and aahed at the cup turning from pink to purple. Now that she was satisfied, you turned to cleaning up her mess. 

“Ya know,” Harley said, kicking her feet. “I like you, kid.”

“Thank you, Harley,” You said, still picking up the cups. 

She let out a big sigh before hopping off the counter to help you. You were a bit surprised, to say the least, but thanked her. Harely waved a dismissive hand at you, grumbling under her breath how she wasn’t doing it for you. 

“I didn’t know you came here, Harley,” A voice said, making you both look up. 

Leaning over the counter was Batman, looking like the usual bore that he was. Harley squealed and stood, exclaiming some variation of ‘Batman’.  She held her drink toward him as she told him all about the cup and how she didn’t even need to rob you this time. It was the thought that counted, you guessed. 

“Harley,” said Batman. “Did you pay?”

She seemed surprised by the question before sheepishly looking away. “I mean, my presence should be enough.”

Presence doesn’t pay rent, you thought. Batman rolled his eyes before pulling a five from one of his many pockets and setting it on the table. You took it, and just as Harley was about to thank him he used one hand to grab the cup she was holding while the other reached to haul her over his shoulder. She protested, but it seemed like the Dark Knight heard none of it. Batman told you to have a good night before starting toward the door.

“Aren’t you gonna help me?” She said, hitting Batman’s back. 

You looked at her like she was crazy. “How? You want me to fight him?”

“If you gotta!”

“They hardly pay me enough to stand here all night, and you think they pay me enough to go toe-to-toe with Batman?” 

The door closed before you could hear what she said, but you could see through the front window Harley thrashing about as she complained about how unfair it was— She kept saying that it was only a drink.

“It’s only a drink,” You mimicked mockingly. “Yeah, but you’re not the one who would get fired.”

You picked up the last of the cups, looking at them thoroughly before you stumbled on the same kind Harley kindly picked out for herself. You pressed your fingers against it, watching the colors change from blue to orange. “Heh, I guess that is pretty cool.” 

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Lawyering through fandoms: Joint tenancies

Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle, at some point in the future, get married and purchased this new property as joint tenants (let’s call it “Wayne-Kyle Manor”). During a fight with the Joker, Bruce is fatally stabbed by Harley Quinn. Perhaps the DC writers wanted to subvert our expectations in this storyline.

Anyways, Bruce dies. But before he died, he devised a will which states that upon his death, his interest in Wayne-Kyle Manor goes to his son, Damian Wayne. Damian is about to formally accept the new property until he’s told by Selina Kyle that the will won’t hold up in court.

“What do you mean!?” shouts Damian. Selina apologizes and says that she’s actually the sole owner of Wayne-Kyle Manor now.

Damian is about to throw a tantrum when Alfred tells him that because Bruce and Selina owned the Manor as joint tenants, there was a right of survivorship. When one joint tenant dies, their ownership interest of the property immediately passes on to the surviving joint tenant (which would be Selina). Even though Bruce left a will, it won’t be upheld in court.

In response, Damian decides to go out and beat up a few thugs in anger.

[crybabycinna]

Pt 10 this is correct and no I will not take criticism

*in the Batcave*

Harley: alright everyone meet your cousin Lucy! She’s my baby

Steph: when did you have a baby

Harley: during dark times

Cass: *takes Lucy’s hand* friend

Lucy: *smiling* ok

Steph: Cass check her nails are they done?

Cass: *examines Lucy’s nails* no

Steph: we’re gonna taking dad’s credit card and car to go get our nails done

Damian: *looks at Harley then Lucy* why is there another one of you?

Harley: say hello to your cousin Lucy

Damian: do you like animals?

Lucy: yes. I’ve already met your cow I love her very much

Damian: if batcow approves so do I

Jason: hi Lucy

Lucy: hi Jason!

Grayson: you two know each other already?

Jason: I go over to Harley’s place a lot

Tim: explains why you are rarely home anyways do you drink coffee?

Lucy: hell yeah

Harley: no

Lucy: *sighs* no

Duke: it’s nice to meet you

Steph: Duke come on you’re coming with us to go get our nails done. *drags Duke upstairs*

Cass: *does the same with Lucy*

Lucy: bye mommy!

Harley: have fun sweetie!

*bonus*

Bruce: *showing Harley a new Robin uniform* I think we should give this to Lucy

Harley: my daughter is not becoming a robin Brucie

Talia: an assassin?

Harley: T no

Selina: a cat burglar

Harley: no kitty cat! can my kid just be normal?

Alfred: not if she’s going to be living in this house

[shyjusticewarrior]

DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 68

Bruce: Every time I shower I'm like "yeah! I'll take better care of myself! This rules! Yeah!" And then the horrors.

Alfred: "The horrors" are "drying off" and "getting dressed," by the way.

Harley: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak. Look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I'm losing.

Ivy: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

[miryum]

Sweetheart- Chapter 2

Summary: Jason Todd finds himself in a Groundhog Day situation and it won't stop until he finds his soulmate who's going through the exact same situation. But will you two stop being idiots long enough to too see what's in front of you? Not even the author knows...

ao3 link

Taglist: @susvale

Warnings: nerd references, Alfred and Harley Quinn being awesome, the latter half not being beta-read, but will be edited soon :)

Jason woke up to screaming and shouts. Another ordinary day. “Jason! Get up!” Tim banged on the door. “You’re gonna be late!” Jason groaned and covered his head with his pillow. 

The door flew open and Cass waltzed in. “I think I left my book in here last night.” She started rummaging around the nightstand. 

Jason snuggled into his covers. Then his eyes flew open. “No… you didn’t,” he corrected Cass, sleep evident in his voice. “You read in your room last night. It was two days ago when you bugged me.”

“Then why is my book in your room?” Cass wiggled her found book in his face. Jason glared at the book for a moment before shrugging it off. He must’ve forgotten.

“Come on, you’ll be late to see Y/n!” Dick called from the doorway before running off to shower.

Jason sat up slowly and the covers fell down to his waist. Why was he getting extreme deja vu? 

“Oh, there he is,” Cassandra laughed. “That lovesick fool.”

“Didn’t you say that yesterday?” Jason mumbled. He ran a hand over his face, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He pinched at his shoulders, squirming at the tight muscles. Why were his muscles sore? He didn’t work out yesterday. Maybe they were still sore from beating Damian and Tim. He decided to test his theory, “Hey? What’s for breakfast?” 

“Alfred made pancakes,” Cass said simply. 

“But Alfred never makes the same thing two days in a row,” Jason said to himself.

“Yeah?” Cass was innocent to his inner turmoil. “Yesterday we had omelettes. What’s up with you today?”

“Nothing… nothing.” The room lapsed into odd silence and Jason, tugging on his leather jacket (which he pleasantly found to be clean), suddenly released what was wrong. “Did, uh, do you ever find it weird that Alfred is the owner of a multimillion dollar company and he still makes us pancakes?”

“Do you ever find it weird that Bruce is the economics teacher at our school and you still wind up in Gordon’s office every other day?” Cass started out of the room and Jason followed after her, silently congratulating himself on bringing the conversation back around. 

“Do you ever find it weird,” Damian called from the bathroom, “that Dad quit his job to start teaching the youth of Gotham City and handed his company over to his butler after I was born? Clearly, we know who the favourite is.” 

“Do you ever find it weird that you guys are interrupting my shower?!” Dick stuck his head out of said shower, motioning for Damian to close the door. Jason was baffled at how similar everything was. If he hadn’t heard of soulmate stories, he would think this was all one big prank. Or that he was going crazy.  

“Do you ever find it weird that in a house of idiots,” Tim hopped down the stairs. “I’m able to stay sane?”

“Dude, same.” Cass fistbumped Tim and they shared a secret handshake.

Maybe Jason was going crazy. Did he really think the universe would give him a soulmate? After all his fights with Bruce? After all those nights he snuck out? After all his depressive panic attacks? What soulmate would want him? 

During breakfast, Jason’s bacon was stolen by Damian, yet again. Tim rushed out the door on account of Coding Club and Alfred flipped pancakes while sporting an apron over his suit. 

“Are you alright, Master Todd?” Alfred asked, placing more pancakes in front of him. From the head of the table, Bruce scoffed and straightened his newspaper. He had tried telling Alfred to stop calling them ‘Master,’ but old habits were hard to shake. 

“Probably just anxious about the test he has today,” Damian said through a mouth full of food. “We all know it’s impossible for him to concentrate with beautiful Y/n sitting next to him!” The young boy sighed dramatically. Jason hurled the syrup bottle at him. Dick caught it mid-air before the bottle could do any damage. 

“I remember Miss. Y/n,” Alfred mused. “When are you going to invite her over again?” Jason wasn’t sure who Alfred’s question was directed at- him or Cass- so he kept his mouth shut.

“Can she come over tonight?” Damian asked. “I need help with homework.”

“Didn’t we finish that yesterday?” Bruce asked, setting down the newspaper. 

Damian shoved more pancake in his mouth, mumbling, “not all of it?” 

It was unsettling to pull up to school and see everyone wearing the exact same clothes, having the exact same conversations, and walking the exact same steps. 

You were stepping off the bus, talking to Artemis and Kori. “Go on, loverboy,” Dick snickered, taking Jason’s analysis of the crowd as scanning for you. (Which was also true, not that he would ever admit it.)

“Fuck you,” was his automatic reply.

“Hey, Todd,” Cass called. “When we get back home, I’m gonna re-dye your hair. You’re losing the white streak.”

Jason groaned, thinking of the torture he had gone through yesterday. He hadn’t realised he would have to go through it again.

“What’re you reading today, L/n?” He tried to copy his movements from yesterday, snatching your backpack away from you. In order for his plan to work, he would have to act exactly as he did yesterday.

You slowly scanned him up and down, and Jason couldn’t decipher your expression. It seemed like you were hopeful at first, overanalyzing him, but it was quickly washed away. “Uh, The Fault In Our Stars, a reread,” you said. Jason wanted to believe that the bookmark was farther than where it was yesterday morning, but he shook it off. He probably just wanted to believe it.

“You don’t have to prove it to me, doll,” Jason said. He puffed up his chest, pleased that he could still make you flush at his nicknames. 

“Prove it? I don’t know what you mean.”

“You don’t need to tell me you’ve read it before to prove you’re smart. You’re telling me it’s a reread cause you’re showing that you could be reading harder, more complex books but you “settled” for this one. But don’t worry, doll, I know you’re smart.”

You stilled, before slowly replying, “Thank you. You get good grades, too.”

“How sweet,” Jason placed a hand over his heart, pretending to swoon. “The Lady L/n thinks me as smart as she.”

“I never said you’re as smart as me,” you corrected.

“Care to make a little wager, then?” Jason held open the school door for you. He carefully concocted the wager as he did the day before. Jason went through the rest of the day, trying hard to remember what he did yesterday. But, of course, it wasn’t technically yesterday. It was still Thursday. Only, it was the second Thursday he’d have this week. Geez, this was going to get confusing, he thought.

Meanwhile, you were trying your best to not to have a panic attack. You had woken up to the same texts on your phone and the same greetings from your parents. At first, you had thought it was a big joke that your friends had roped your parents into. You confronted Artemis and Kori on the bus, already frustrated with your parents when they hadn’t let up. Either Artemis and Kori were incredible actors, or something weird was going on. 

Something was nagging at you and when Artemis had pulled you aside and suggested you talk to an adult about it- “Ms. Quinn might know what you’re talking about. She knows a lot of random bullshit,”- you decided that was the best course of action.

“Ms. Quinn,” you approached her after the school day. “Do you know anything about days repeating themselves? Or am I going completely crazy and deserve to be in an insane asylum?”

Ms. Quinn laughed and said, “well, it seems to me as if you might’ve found your soulmate, my young padawan!”

“Padawan? When did I become a Jedi?” You cocked an eyebrow at your favourite librarian.

“You’ve always been my padawan,” Ms. Quinn said, as if it was obvious. She stood up and led you to the non-fiction section. “But I can’t guarantee I won’t lead you to the darkside.”

“Understandable,”

“I always wondered when you would find a soulmate,” Ms. Quinn commented. “You’ll have to invite me to the wedding.”

“Ms. Quinn! I’m not- we’re- I haven’t even met them yet!”

She handed a book to you, smirking. “Alright. Whatever makes you sleep at night. Check the index of this for looping days.’”

“Thanks, Ms. Quinn.”

“Anytime!”

You snuggled up in a corner of the library and flipped open the book, titled, Soulmate Identifiers. The index pointed you to page 42, in which you chuckled to yourself, silently thinking of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

“Is something funny?” A voice asked from above you. You looked up to see Jason standing over you.

“What’re you doing here?” You didn’t answer his question, glaring in suspicion at him. You didn’t see him in the library yesterday, but then again, you were helping Ms. Quinn and probably didn’t run into him.

“I need to check out a book for History,” he explained.

“What’re you doing here, bothering me?” you clarified.

“Can’t I see my sweetheart without her lashing out at me?” Jason asked, laying down next to you and using his backpack as a pillow. 

“No.” 

“Fair enough. What’re you reading?”

“Um…” You paused, wondering if Jason would make fun of you for your choice of book. “I.. don’t know.” 

“You... don’t know?” Jason snickered, eyeing you. Clearly he knew that you were lying, but he allowed you to stay in your dishonesty.

“I don’t know. I just picked it up.” You buried your face back into the pages, trying to mask the embarrassment. Quickly, you scanned the words: While perhaps not the most common or conventional soulmate identifier, Looping Days is a personal favourite of mine. Looping Days happen when two soulmates have ignored their feelings long enough for the universe to take notice. One singular day continues repeating, akin to the famous movie Groundhog Day, however, unlike the movie, both soulmates experience it.

The day keeps repeating until the two soulmates confess their feelings, whether romantic or platonic, to each other and the week continues on, every other person unaware. When the soulmates confess, a soulmark of something significant that happened over the repeating days appears on the wrist. 

The book went onto explain the questions scientists had about this soulmate phenomena, but you had read enough.

In order to escape this supposedly endless Thursday, you had to find your soulmate. 

------

A whimper escaped Jason’s mouth as Cassandra tugged on his hair. He was seated on the toilet while his sister attempted to wrangle him with hair dye. “Woman up,” Cass grumbled.

“Would you tell me if you found your soulmate?” Jason asked softly. 

Cass stopped, eyes meeting Jason’s in the mirror. “You found them?” she whispered. “Who?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I haven’t found them yet.”

“Why? What’s the indicator?”

“I think it’s time looping. Yesterday was Thursday too. It’s really weird seeing the same things happen all over again. It kind of makes me feel like a god.” he chuckled. “I can predict everyone’s move.”

“Who do you think it is?” Cass yanked on his hair. “‘Cause I’ve heard that whoever you want it to be, that’s probably them.”

“I’m not answering that.”

“Y/n’s here!” Damian screamed out. 

Cass placed a firm hand on Jason’s shoulder to keep him from jumping up to greet you. “Lemme finish!” she scolded. “I’m almost done.”

“But I wanna… okay. Fine.” After a couple of minutes with Cass slapping upside the head whenever he squirmed and wiggled. How was it fair that Damian, Tim, and Dick got to spend time with you? 

“Okay, you’re free to go,” Cass said, but Jason was already halfway out the door. “Sure! I’ll just clean up by myself!” she rolled her eyes. “Wait! Jason!” Jason poked his head back in the bathroom. “To answer your question, yes, I would tell you if I found my soulmate.” Jason gave her a faint, trusting smile. 

Jason took a moment at the top of the steps to compose himself. He subconsciously ran a hand through his newly dyed hair, wondering if you would notice. He noticed you at the kitchen table, hunched over with Damian. “Look what the cat dragged in,” he crooned in your ear. 

You elbowed him in the gut and he groaned at the newly forming bruise. “More like, look what your brother dragged in,” you replied.  

“The scores just came out, sweetheart,” Jason smirked, slipping into the seat next to you. “Shall we see who the victor is?”  Cass groaned loudly as she walked in, opening the snack cabinet. She pulled out a bag of pretzels and poured herself and Tim a bowl. Tim graciously accepted it. 

“No! I need help from my future sister-in-law!” Damian cried. Jason’s heart thumped widely. He hid a smile at the slim idea of marrying you. He couldn’t imagine the image of you being the first thing he saw in the morning and the last thing he saw at night. Were you a cuddly sleeper? Or did you prefer to stay to your side of the bed? What did your morning voice sound like? Did you prefer evening sex or morning sez? He flushed at the intrusive thought. Dick laughed loudly and even Tim pressed his lips together to stop a laugh.

“Damn right,” You held up your hand and Cass slapped it. “Cass and I are getting married and none of you are invited to the wedding. Except Alfred, of course.” 

“Of course,” Cass agreed.

“Just show me your score,” Jason whined. “Please!”

“Fine,” you pulled out your phone. Jason’s leg bounced up and down and Dick raised an eyebrow at him, silently telling him to cool it. “What’d you get?” you asked.

“A 97, but technically a 92.” Jason proudly said. “I got extra credit.” He hadn’t changed any of his answers for fear of getting something wrong. And then maybe you would surpass him. He couldn’t have that.

“Ms. Prince doesn’t give out extra credit!” you exclaimed. “What the hell?!”

“If you ask incredibly nicely and tell her it's for a good cause,” Jason explained. “Then yes, she does.”

“You fucking told her about our bet, didn’t you,” you accused.

“Why yes, yes I did.” Jason smirked and you looked incredibly frustrated.

“What bet?” Bruce asked. 

“Nothing,” both you and Jason answered at the same time Dick launched into an explanation of the wager. Bruce peered at Alfred who gave him a small shrug in response. 

“Just make sure no one gets emotionally hurt, Jason.” Bruce said. 

“How come you’re telling me and not Y/n?!” Jason stood up, aghast. 

“Because Y/n is smarter than that,” Bruce said simply. 

Ignoring his father, Jason rounded on you. “Seriously, doll, what was your score?”

You glanced down at the number on your screen and Jason swallowed. “95,” you said after a tense moment.

The room went silent. Bruce and Alfred exchanged a glance and Bruce immediately took out his phone and started typing away. Cass looked over your shoulder and hummed. Tim let out a low whistle and Damian cackled. Dick closely watched his younger brother with a pleased smile. 

“Wait, actually?” Jason asked. 

“Yes, Todd,” you sighed. “Actually.” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Bruce show his phone to Alfred. Alfred raised an eyebrow and you had an inkling of who Bruce had texted. 

“Damn, sweetheart,” Jason continued. “Did you throw the test on purpose?” 

“Just take the date, Jason.” You said, “I wouldn’t dwell on it. Though I am expecting you to pull out all the stops.” 

“You won’t be disappointed, sweetheart.” Jason pressed a kiss to your forehead and practically skipped to his room, his smile lighting up the room. Later that night, as he lay in bed, he silently wondered if he was technically cheating on his soulmate by promising you a date that he may get to go on. What would happen if he found his soulmate, but you still expected a date? He didn’t want to let you down. He didn’t know if he could ever let you down. If you asked him for anything, he would probably trip over his own feet to complete your request. 

Jason made a pact, then and there, that he would take you on a date no matter if he found his soulmate or not.

It was the least he could do.